I’ve always tried to focus on the positives when writing this blog and most days there are many to report. There are today too but the negatives outweigh them unfortunately so I’m going to be honest about that rather than sugar coating things.
Janet is not happy and neither am I. She seems to be at her wits end as far as Connect is concerned and maybe about rehab in general. Her attitude is wearing on me and as a result this was the least fun weekend we’ve had in a long time. There were a few fun times, church was good, we watched a couple of good movies and we enjoyed visiting with Cam. Janet also did a great 200 meter walk on Saturday but despite the congrats from Cam and I, didn’t really accept the fact she’d done well and was very resistant to doing it today. When she did, she kept saying “I can’t”, “I’m exhausted”, “my legs are tired”, “I hate this”, the whole way through so of course her time was way off.
We didn’t really do much this weekend and that may be part of the issue. There was a lot of down time where I had no idea what to suggest and neither did Janet and the things I did suggest were dismissed abruptly. These are the times I dread for when she comes home full time as she can’t think of anything to do and I’m tired of being the booking agent for her. I don’t want her to be over scheduled but maybe spontaneity isn’t realistic either.
To cap it off, Janet scared the heck out of Cam and I at dinner tonight by choking on a piece of sweet and sour pork. She’d put a monstrous sized piece in her mouth, unbeknownst to us, then I heard her gurgling. Janet has “choked” on things before and has always been able to cough it out reasonably quickly. Tonight as I asked her to do the same she motioned repeatedly that she couldn’t. I did some mini Heimlich manoeuvres on her and she soon brought the chunk up. Cam was on the phone with 911 as Janet cleared herself and she was fine instantly. A very scary moment that I don’t wish to repeat and Janet has already blocked from her memory. During her bedtime recap of the day she correctly identified every activity of the day except that one and I didn’t bother to remind her of it.
Where this leaves or takes us I’m not sure. It may be that Janet comes home before the end of November if she’s not going to make an effort at Connect. Maybe spending this next week at home while my mom visits and we go to the Skate Canada International competition would be enough of a respite to get her through that last month. Maybe there’s not enough to be gained by keeping her at Connect another five weeks even with a good effort. Maybe my role needs to change. I don’t know but it does seem that something has to change real soon.
Praying that tomorrow brings lots of positive energy to Janet and me.
Renovation Day 55. Hopefully Randy took my advice and rested today. He’s been working hard. Janet, Laurel and I were able to empty all the kitchen boxes and put things in cupboards and drawers. It’s still too early to have a definitive place for everything but at least its all out where we know what we have and can tweak things as needed.
Janet had a bit of a sleep in this morning, getting up after nine thirty. She may have a bit of a cold as she had a massive sneezing attack shortly after she got up. Janet played Foreman as I unwrapped things from their packing paper after breakfast and made suggestions as to where things ought to go. At the bottom of the last big box of kitchen things were the missing table lamps! Yeah! Not sure why they were in a kitchen box but I’m glad they were found. Janet had a good little Skype chat with Mary/Gaga before Laurel got back from the store with supplies to make some desserts.
Laurel and Janet baked for the rest of the morning with Janet mixing and pouring and stirring. She seemed to enjoy it but I could sense she needed a little more action than that to get through the day so I called lunch time then had her do a little standing and walking. Janet’s confidence level wasn’t too high today and it really impacted her performance but she had the basic moves. She reluctantly agreed to go out with Laurel to the Marmalade Cafe and came back all smiles saying “it was fun” as soon as I opened the car door. For some reason Janet declined tea and had coffee instead even after trying Laurel’s tea and really liking it. She’s got it in her head that she doesn’t like tea anymore so I think we are going to just have to give it to her once in a while to help her like it again.
While the girls were out I started putting up the Christmas lights and continued that while they played a memory card game.
Janet seemed to be hanging in there pretty well, showing no signs of needing a nap but she did call an early end to a Skype chat with Leslie then a short while later did the same during a group chat with Andrew and Heather. Janet enjoyed seeing and talking to everyone but felt enough was enough. She ate a good dinner but gave Laurel and I a real scare when she stuffed a large piece of lasagne into her mouth, chewed it a couple times then swallowed. Or tried to swallow. It was way to big to go down and she choked a little before managing enough of a cough to bring it back up. I was pretty mad at her because it was such a silly thing to do, I expect better from her now. It was a good warning that I should probably hone up on my Hiemlech Manouver just in case.
The evening came to a close after watching a little TV and enjoying some ice cream. Laurel had the brilliant idea of sitting Janet on the part of the couch with the chaise lounge on it so she could stretch out her legs. Worked great! I asked Janet if she enjoyed Secret Millionaire or Whose Line Is It Anyway better and she said Whose Line was funnier but that Secret Millionaire isn’t supposed to be funny. She agreed it was meant to be heart warming and inspiring and Janet said it was and it made her feel thankful for all the good things she has. Its really special to see how she can put things together after watching something or reading something now. Big improvement.
Praying for a night of deep and healing sleep that provided lots of energy for tomorrow.